The tide has receded... Time for a beer!

11:00pm
Sleep: 8 broken hours. (4 times up)
Symptoms: weakness in arms...pain recedes... finally
Pain pills yesterday: half a percocet...
Pain pills so far today: none!


The tide has gone out. The pain recedes... as it always has. This has been my life for that past decade. This episode was by far the longest, the most acute... the worst. 4 months. 4 whole months of pain. Of fatigue. Of hell. And I made it to the other side. Time for a beer!


It's like the breath of life has come back into me. You would think I'd be happy but I'm not. I'm incensed. Angry to the point of boiling over. My world has been turned upside down by this thing and I'm paying 300 dollars a month to feel exactly the same. I hate this disease. I hate that it's invisible. I hate that my first doctor is never going to know how bad he can make someone feel.  I hate that he'll never know that I never fell down the "slippery slope" he kept thinking I was going down. 


Funny, I have a whole bottle of Percocet next to me, and I haven't taken one today. I could get high. I could knock one back with my beer. But funny enough... I'm just fine. I don't have pain so I don't need narcotics. Oh, they are so going to take my addict card away from me. There go my dreams of NA. Damn.