Fun and Frustration.

It's been a long day.

A long, long, long, day. One of the upsides of Gabapentin is that it seems to slow down time. One of the downsides is that it seems to slow down time.

That and this cold is still kicking my ass just a bit.
And I'm in intermediate pain.
And Sky's only taking a one hour nap and is now going to bed at 10pm
And he treats time with Mommy like it's a free for all... I gather he thinks I might disappear any minute.

But I was supposed to give Trevor the day off. He deserves it. He needs it.

I failed.

First, I couldn't get up. The muscle relaxants that help me sleep actually do what they say they do.
Then I couldn't finish the day. I just couldn't. I was going to admit failure and ask for Trev to finish out the last hour before bed but then the saint asked.... he asked if I needed him to...and I had to say yes. I failed.

Now before anyone thinks I'm depressed over this... well, you might be a little right, but a bigger part of me is struggling to see this as a win. I came, I saw, and instead of digging my own grave to kick some ass... I caved. I took the easy way out. And that's a healthy thing. The thing you should do when your body says enough. I've been living my whole life trying to prove myself worthy. Now I can't remember who I was proving myself to. Or what worthy is.

In the end, I'm just me. And sometimes, I can't do everything. And that's ok or at least it has to be now.