Another good day... after another bad couple..

9:30pm
Sleep: 6 broken hours. (4 times up)
Symptoms: Carpal Tunnel... weakness in both arms and aching. Think carrying heavy boxes all day. Then think what your arms feel like the next day and that's pretty much it. Also unrelenting muscle spasms (painless at least) all through legs. 
Pain pills yesterday: 3
Pain pills so far today: 1 


I had another couple of brutal days. Especially yesterday. Ended up wanting to go to bed early cause I ended up  too drugged to do anything. Two percocet are definitely not fun for me. I just sit there unable to think with a mild drug headache. I can't really read cause I wouldn't retain it. I can't play my hidden object games cause I can barely see through the drug haze. I fall asleep if I watch tv and I'm too lazy to do chores. If I didn't take the drugs, I would have been in so much acute pain that I wouldn't have been doing much anyway. And I would have gotten edgy. That dangerous area where everything everyone does and says annoys me. Where I want to beat myself unconscious. That is also unproductive.


Usually I'm good at taking just enough medication to allow myself to still think and do things, but occasionally the pain outruns the drugs. I just have to keep taking more till finally I've tipped the scales too far. I really don't know why people get hooked on this drug. It's annoying and it doesn't feel good even when I can take less. It upsets my stomach, gives me a light headache and makes me itch a bit.  So I only take what I have to....Today, for instance, the pain is manageable and I've barely taken any. I actually drew a bit and made a pot pie and did laundry. It was nice and so much better sober. I can only hope that I will be even more sober soon.